If you take the time and make the effort to build trust people will do extraordinary things with you
Trust is a force of Nature
Trust is hard won. We are born into trust for it is the natural way. Nature is built on connectivity, interaction and synchronicity. Birds’ eggs hatch just as the insects they eat begin to multiply, the squirrels bury their nuts as the autumn nights draw in and winter approaches and the sea’s tides are influenced by the phases of the moon. Nature is built on trust. The new born knows it must suckle, the fledgling birds knows it can fly just as the foal understands it must walk. Everything comes in its own time and eventually fades away.
In her book “Mutant Message Down Under” Marlo Morgan describes a scenario when she must lead the Aborigine tribe in the Outback wilderness to food. Days go by without food and water and fear and terror mount in her as she contemplates her death and the death of the tribe. The Aborigine tribe members are unmoved. In time a meal appears in the wilderness and her relief is extreme. She discusses her anxiety with the tribe later on and they explain that they never lost their trust in nature- that she would raise to the task and provide or they would die. It is that simple!
Losing Trust and Gaining Wisdom
Trust is something easily lost. We trust implicitly as youngsters because we know no better. We are endowed with trust by Nature herself. Why would we not trust? It is against the natural flow of survival. Without trust we are alone and without friends or support. As helpless youngsters we have no choice but to trust. It is our birth right. But it is easily abused, knowingly and unknowingly. This creates distrust and in that there is a loss of innocence, a barrier to open loving living.
As life experience shapes our understanding of the world we must lose our naivety without becoming cynical. We must understand that people are not always as they seem. People can hide their insecurity, fear, aggression and malicious intent towards us . If we do not realise this we become stung by the sharp stab of trust abused and the humiliation of being made to feel stupid or falsely taken in.
If we are to be open we must have trust. If we are to communicate and live without barriers to the world, there has to be an implicit trust in the world and the people in it. If all we have known is a harsh and unloving world it is hard to trust it.
With every personal disappointment in others we become more insular. Perhaps we need to look elsewhere for trust?
Where can Trust be Found?
Nature can be trusted upon. Every breath you take is a deepening of the trust between you and nature itself. You serve and support each other. You are there for each other. Aren’t all of nature’s bounty free gifts? Air is a free gift, expected on faith that it will be there and that you have the means to take it. We take it for granted, because Nature has always provided. But should we take that trust for granted?
Many years ago I learned to SCUBA dive. One of the important tasks that I had to learn was to share my breathing equipment with my diving buddy. I had to learn various other important tasks as well to prepare me for a time when I may lose air for some reason below the surface of the water.
Once as I was performing these tasks, my diving instructor turned off my air supply! The feeling of trying to draw air into my lungs when there was no air to breathe was terrifying. I panicked and tried to race for the surface, the great sin in SCUBA diving for safety reasons. My instructor coached me through the proper procedure and in time I breathed again, but for those few seconds the beauty of breath and the implicit trust I had in nature for providing my next breath was forcibly driven home to me.
On occasions I breathe deep, long and low and enjoy the calmness my body experiences as I feel the air rush into my lungs and nourish my body.
By being consciously aware of the air around us and inside of us and knowing that it is freely available to us given by nature itself, we can build trust in nature. Perhaps we need to be more mindful of the things that are offered naturally without price. They are given as part of the natural order of the world and the universe.
Our pets bring us pleasure and comfort. They trust in our kindness. They respond to it. There is a natural order in this. We trust them in turn. They are there when we feel sad. They snuggle to comfort us, and are there to greet us constantly when we leave and return.
The Beauty of Trust
What can we humans learn about trust from nature and animals? Always be there. Be present. Be kind and generous. Be compassionate and accepting. Realise our responsibility to others and live up to it. Be loyal. Be trusting of the natural order.
Trust in people is built over time. It is earned. People make mistakes and so it does not always follow that their mistakes were deliberately done. We must ask ourselves “Has it been done in error or with malicious intent?” To interact with people at all let alone well we must trust them and be trust worthy ourselves.
To do great things with people we must trust and be trust worthy. If you take the time and make the effort to build trust people will do extraordinary things with you.
Some will be too fearful. That is fine. Some may be so fearful and distrusting that they abuse your trust and hurt you. Know that the fault lies with them, not you! Learn to tell the difference and with growing wisdom discern the relationships that diminish you and those that empower you.
Nature waits patiently. It is always there, waiting for each of us to trust and begin the process of embracing it. In return for our trust in it, it embraces us more deeply, sharing with us more of its wonder and secrets.
Nature can only do so much and we must be prepared to do our bit. Often we don’t take chances as we worry about our ability to trust the situation or the person. Often it is a question of control or past pain. We all have a need to protect ourselves from repeating mistakes in relationships and situations. We do not want to be hurt. Yet, to surrender to trust we must be prepared to take the chance and understand that there is the possibility of being hurt. It is a tricky situation.
Building a Bridge of Trust
So how do we cross this impasse? How do we build trust, trust the right people and embrace that which is good? It takes time. It takes care and patience. Are you worthy of trust? Is the one in whom you place your trust worthy of it? We can only discover this by taking small steps, in the full knowledge that we are taking a risk. We build trust over time, making informed choices that will lead to greater openness as trust is upheld from both ends of the bridge.
This will lead to a strong connection and bond growing between you and others that will nurture your faith in trust and create a beautiful life full of millions of small moments- the smiles, the laughs, the touches, the kindnesses- that warm the soul and make life special.