Tag Archives: trust

Expectation

Let your open heart & spontaneity create the magic of the moment

Let your open heart & spontaneity create the magic of the moment

Steve Jobs, in his Stanford Commencement Speech, spoke about looking back at his life and joining the dots. Reflecting on his journey and how things had lead to one thing and then another.

Without any idea how impactful any one single event maybe it was only in the fullness of time that he realised how powerful, significant and influential those single moments or events would be.

Very often we plan events and have an expectation of how they will turn out or how we will experience them.  This expectation can limit our experience.

In one sense, if we have negative expectations we can perceive something that does in fact have the potential to be very positive as something negative.  For example, the nerves people feel before they speak in public can often be enough to stop people getting up in front of an audience and presenting their ideas.  The negative expectation stifles the spontaneous creation of experiences that might otherwise arise from that event.  To understand that this fear response is completely natural may allow that person to step out in spite of the fear, share their concept and enjoy the process of expressing their authenticity and the audience’s responses to it.

On the other hand, the expectation of a huge event can mean we miss the subtle nuances that make up the larger part of any situation.  To have a fixed idea in your mind of how something will be, means you may deny what it is becoming as it spontaneously evolves.  You may miss the magic as it unfolds and walk away feeling deflated from an event that was spectacular- just not in the sense that you had anticipated.

So how do we get the balance of creating an event that has the potential for an incredible experience, yet not get caught up in what it might be or what we want it to be?  Or even more rigidly, what it must be?

We have all been involved in something about which we have had no expectation.  Very often we have a wonderful time because we enjoy it in the moment as it unfolds and we have no pre- judgement to compare it with.

We can create an event with the knowledge that it will be great without knowing how it will be great.  The right people, the right ambience and an openness to succeed and the event create itself.  Is that not how the best events often unfold?  It requires planning and detail, but also surrenders to the dynamic flow of the moment.  So we plan and trust.  Plan with an open agenda and trust with an open heart.  And all the elements of life will flow together to create magic.

You will have witnessed it and contributed to the magic.   That will feed you and others, strengthening the bond between you and your loved ones and the bond between you and life itself, offering you strength, support and power in the instant of the moment.

Life on Life’s Terms

Sometimes you lead, sometimes life leads- this is the balance to the dance of life

Sometimes you lead, sometimes life leads- this is the balance to the dance of life

Many of us wish to live life on our terms.  We like to feel we are in control and that we are calling the shots.  Life experience tells me this may not be the only way to live.  Like all things in life, nothing ever flows one way.  Even a river has sections where the water flows up- stream and eddies swirl.  Our relationship with life is a two- way process.  It is not just about what you want, for there are terms and conditions to the life you have and the life you want.  In life, to have “X” you also have to have “Y”, the two go hand in hand.  It is the law of balance.  It is the law of the universe.

You start by stating your intention, and then the universe starts to work to make that intention a reality.  So what does that actually mean?

Well, experience tells me that growth is required. If you are to enter this new phase in your life you have to grow to allow it to happen.  If you want to earn more money, you have to grow to be able to earn that money.  If you want to attract different people into your life you have to grow and explore new areas of life and yourself.  Then the choice is back to you.  Will you grow in that direction?  Will you face the challenge?  If so the balance equation begins to shift and the balance in your life changes.

Life’s demands mean that you live on life’s terms, which has always been the way.  Life on your terms gives the illusion of security and certainty.  Life on life’s terms gives the impression that you are not in control.  I would say that both views are an illusion.  In truth it is a dance.  You and life choreograph the life dance together and so you must learn to trust.

You must trust yourself for there are times when you must lead.  And you must learn to trust life, for sometimes life will lead and you must trust that life has your best interests at heart.  Otherwise you will resist and the dance becomes a tense and stressful thing.

We all go through periods when we struggle to trust.  You feel alone and isolated which is a separation you have created.  You have stepped away from life.  Life continues to dance with or without its partner, tempting you in, encouraging you to step back in and embrace the most beautiful dance partner you could possibly imagine.  So dance with life, my friend, enjoy its beauty and flow and challenging steps.

And when your trust is complete you will know that there is a support network around you to guide and protect you, just like the bird that trusts there will be air beneath its wing or the new born trusts there will be milk from its mother.  The universe will provide all that you need, just not necessarily what you were expecting…… but that is a whole other topic!

Trust- A Force of Nature

If you take the time and make the effort to build trust people will do extraordinary things with you

If you take the time and make the effort to build trust people will do extraordinary things with you

Trust is a force of Nature

Trust is hard won. We are born into trust for it is the natural way. Nature is built on connectivity, interaction and synchronicity.  Birds’ eggs hatch just as the insects they eat begin to multiply, the squirrels bury their nuts as the autumn nights draw in and winter approaches and the sea’s tides are influenced by the phases of the moon.  Nature is built on trust.  The new born knows it must suckle, the fledgling birds knows it can fly just as the foal understands it must walk.  Everything comes in its own time and eventually fades away.

In her book “Mutant Message Down Under” Marlo Morgan describes a scenario when she must lead the Aborigine tribe in the Outback wilderness to food. Days go by without food and water and fear and terror mount in her as she contemplates her death and the death of the tribe. The Aborigine tribe members are unmoved. In time a meal appears in the wilderness and her relief is extreme. She discusses her anxiety with the tribe later on and they explain that they never lost their trust in nature- that she would raise to the task and provide or they would die. It is that simple!

Losing Trust and Gaining Wisdom

Trust is something easily lost. We trust implicitly as youngsters because we know no better. We are endowed with trust by Nature herself.  Why would we not trust?  It is against the natural flow of survival. Without trust we are alone and without friends or support.  As helpless youngsters we have no choice but to trust. It is our birth right. But it is easily abused, knowingly and unknowingly. This creates distrust and in that there is a loss of innocence, a barrier to open loving living.

As life experience shapes our understanding of the world we must lose our naivety without becoming cynical. We must understand that people are not always as they seem. People can hide their insecurity, fear, aggression and malicious intent towards us . If we do not realise this we become stung by the sharp stab of trust abused and the humiliation of being made to feel stupid or falsely taken in.

If we are to be open we must have trust. If we are to communicate and live without barriers to the world, there has to be an implicit trust in the world and the people in it. If all we have known is a harsh and unloving world it is hard to trust it.

With every personal disappointment in others we become more insular. Perhaps we need to look elsewhere for trust?

Where can Trust be Found?

Nature can be trusted upon. Every breath you take is a deepening of the trust between you and nature itself. You serve and support each other. You are there for each other.  Aren’t all of nature’s bounty free gifts?  Air is a free gift, expected on faith that it will be there and that you have the means to take it. We take it for granted, because Nature has always provided.  But should we take that trust for granted?

Many years ago I learned to SCUBA dive.  One of the important tasks that I had to learn was to share my breathing equipment with my diving buddy.  I had to learn various other important tasks as well to prepare me for a time when I may lose air for some reason below the surface of the water.

Once as I was performing these tasks, my diving instructor turned off my air supply!  The feeling of trying to draw air into my lungs when there was no air to breathe was terrifying.  I panicked and tried to race for the surface, the great sin in SCUBA diving for safety reasons.  My instructor coached me through the proper procedure and in time I breathed again, but for those few seconds the beauty of breath and the implicit trust I had in nature for providing my next breath was forcibly driven home to me.

On occasions I breathe deep, long and low and enjoy the calmness my body experiences as I feel the air rush into my lungs and nourish my body.

By being consciously aware of the air around us and inside of us and knowing that it is freely available to us given by nature itself, we can build trust in nature.  Perhaps we need to be more mindful of the things that are offered naturally without price.  They are given as part of the natural order of the world and the universe.

Our pets bring us pleasure and comfort. They trust in our kindness.  They respond to it.  There is a natural order in this. We trust them in turn. They are there when we feel sad.  They snuggle to comfort us, and are there to greet us constantly when we leave and return.

The Beauty of Trust

What can we humans learn about trust from nature and animals? Always be there. Be present. Be kind and generous.  Be compassionate and accepting. Realise our responsibility to others and live up to it. Be loyal.  Be trusting of the natural order.

Trust in people is built over time. It is earned.  People make mistakes and so it does not always follow that their mistakes were deliberately done. We must ask ourselves “Has it been done in error or with malicious intent?”  To interact with people at all let alone well we must trust them and be trust worthy ourselves.

To do great things with people we must trust and be trust worthy. If you take the time and make the effort to build trust people will do extraordinary things with you.

Some will be too fearful. That is fine. Some may be so fearful and distrusting that they abuse your trust and hurt you. Know that the fault lies with them, not you! Learn to tell the difference and with growing wisdom discern the relationships that diminish you and those that empower you.

Nature waits patiently.  It is always there, waiting for each of us to trust and begin the process of embracing it.  In return for our trust in it, it embraces us more deeply, sharing with us more of its wonder and secrets.

Nature can only do so much and we must be prepared to do our bit. Often we don’t take chances as we worry about our ability to trust the situation or the person.  Often it is a question of control or past pain.  We all have a need to protect ourselves from repeating mistakes in relationships and situations. We do not want to be hurt. Yet, to surrender to trust we must be prepared to take the chance and understand that there is the possibility of being hurt.  It is a tricky situation.

Building a Bridge of Trust

So how do we cross this impasse? How do we build trust, trust the right people and embrace that which is good? It takes time. It takes care and patience. Are you worthy of trust? Is the one in whom you place your trust worthy of it?  We can only discover this by taking small steps, in the full knowledge that we are taking a risk.  We build trust over time, making informed choices that will lead to greater openness as trust is upheld from both ends of the bridge.

This will lead to a strong connection and bond growing between you and others that will nurture your faith in trust and create a beautiful life full of millions of small moments- the smiles, the laughs, the touches, the kindnesses- that warm the soul and make life special.

A Journey into Consciousness

 

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Where does your attention lie? Where do you focus your awareness?  Where do you direct the energy of your mind? Three questions posing a similar line of enquiry….. Wherever we place our focus determines our reality.  If we are attentive to thoughts of fear, doubt or jealousy our reality becomes contracted. If we think of love, compassion and peace our reality becomes expansive. The more our thoughts expand our awareness the more connected we become to life and its magic and wonder. My early life was consumed by fear and I am striving to fill my latter years with love and joy.

I was born to my parents at a time when their relationship was on the rocks. It has been said in the family that having me was an attempt to bring them closer together again.  Needless to say I had no such power. They separated when I was about a year old and my parents both retreated into themselves to lick their wounds and find ways to move on.  They did the best they knew how and I am grateful for that- but without words, for I was too young to understand them, their actions and thoughts taught me lessons that I would take into later life that made it difficult to trust and share, say truly how I feel and have the strength to authentically express myself and stand up for what I believed in and wanted for my life.  I felt truly alone in the world.  I learnt that loneliness was preferable as it helped me avoid pain.

When Yoda appeared in the Star Wars movies in the 1970s, I knew I had to meet a person like that- a mentor, teacher and spiritual guide.  I met such a man in my late teens who showed me a different way- that we have to open up to life and in doing so life’s gifts and magic enter us.  We close down to avoid pain, but when we close down, we close down to everything.  We cannot be selective.  If we are open, we are open to life’s joy and pain- we just have to be strong enough to deal with both, be open to both and learn from both.  It is hard, but it is by far the most fulfilling path.  We see the best of our self and of others and only very occasionally do we see the worst.

If we trust, we open our self to life and begin to live life fully in spite of our imperfections and the imperfections of others. We remove the barriers that we try to put in place to hide our self for fear of exposure, unburdening our self and becoming freer. We are all imperfect and that is as it should be. It gives us a reason to grow.  The sooner we accept this truth, the sooner we can go about living fully and removing the barriers we have put in place that mask us from a spiritual connection to life itself.

This spiritual connection is a link with the Consciousness of the universe, what the Chinese refer to as Tao or Chi, the Indians call Prana or Brahman and what world religions call God. In Nourish the Flame Within we discuss the idea that all things are energy whose source is this Consciousness, simply vibrating at different frequencies, which manifests in different forms, from gases to solids, from hot to cold, from inanimate to animate.

Different thoughts also vibrate at different frequencies. In her incredible workshops, Love and Above, Christie Marie Sheldon discusses how thoughts of fear and worry have low vibrations while thoughts of love and compassion have high vibrations. Consciousness is the highest vibration and it is our source. Spiritually, we are trying to return to this source in a vibrational sense. In other words, if we can cultivate thoughts of love, compassion and sharing, we begin to change vibrationally. If we can shift our thinking away from fear and contraction towards love and expansion, we are moving towards a vibration of perfection or Consciousness. The health, relationship and spiritual implications of this are nothing short of astounding.

As we develop through life, make stronger our connections with life itself, cultivate relationships with people, animals and places, harness our passions and put into practice the things that truly make us tick, we walk the path of our spiritual growth and increase our vibration. The closer to Consciousness we get the more at peace we feel, the more connected and related we are and the more empowered we become. We become aware that we are living Consciousness.

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Lynette Avis and David Brown are the authors of Nourish the Flame Within- a guide to connecting to the human soul for Reiki, Martial Arts and Life.  You can read more about our background and interests on the “About the Authors” link at the top of the page.  If you feel moved to do so please take a few minutes to leave a comment on this article- we are always happy to discuss the topics about which we feel so passionate.  You can also join us on the Nourish the Flame Twitter account at https://twitter.com/AvisandBrown and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LynetteAvisandDavidBrown .  We look forward to hearing from you.